XPA: X Philes Anonymous
by thedoc617
Summary: My name is Doc, and i'm addicted to the X Files


Title: A look inside the closed doors of XFA  
Author: Doc  
Category: Humor, Parody  
Key Words: PHILES  
Summary: My name is Doc, and I'm an X-Files addict  
  
  
I walked slowly down the long corridor. It had barely any elbow room, and was long and narrow. 'Wow, this is a hallway. Sure brings back memories.' She thought to herself, her shipper mind ticking hard. She went up to the desk and was about to ask him a question when she saw he was dressed in blue. Cerulean blue. She backed away cautiously. She had no idea where she was going. She felt her glasses slip beneath the bridge of her nose and slid them back into place. Somehow she wandered to the basement. She was looking around when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a gray haired man smoking a cigarette. She didn't bother asking questions. She just screamed and ran. Paranoia was not a choice when it came to her personality. She kept running until she heard a familiar warm voice say her name.  
"Doc, we were starting to get worried. Come on, you're already late." Didi said as she led her best friend to the room.   
"Didi nudged her friend.   
"Go on, introduce yourself." She said as they entered the room number 1013. The girl cleared her throat and spoke for the first time.  
"Hi, my name is Doc, and I'm addicted to the X-Files."  
  
Chapter II:  
  
Doc sat there, looking suspiciously at the people who shared her obsession. She looked next to her to see a familiar face. It was spooky, the lead star in the play. This certainly explains his name.   
"Spooky, I never knew." She said to him.  
"I guess I hid it well." He said as everyone took turns sharing his or her story for the newcomer.   
  
There was Arteth, the compassionate shipper who drooled more than a St. Bernard when it came to looking/watching David Duchovny on TV. She was an emotional shipper too. She'd get into brutal fights with non-philes that say that The X-Files sucks.  
  
There was Nancy, the highly intelligent phile. She would spend hours analyzing the episodes and truly got into the characters' heads.  
  
There was Spooky who Didi and Doc both knew. He thought he was truly Fox William Mulder. He ditched Doc (who was smittin for him at the time) and gave the excuse of "Oops, I guess Mulder's very sorry." He was the youngest of all the other philes, only a mere 12 years old, so he didn't truly understand the Mulder/Scully relationship to the full capacity yet.  
  
Then there was Didi. She was the person who led Doc into the world of flukemen, gray reticulants, and shippers. She didn't know what she was getting herself into when they met that day in the library. Not only was she a phile, an avid shipper, she was also a fanfic junkie. She met her best friend and they talked into the night until 2 am from mosquito bites to the 11 second kiss that everybody's talking about.   
  
  
Finally it was Doc's turn to speak. She stood up and timidly looked at the people in front of her.  
"I have to say that the X-Files was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have learned so much. You have the perfect relationship between two opposite people. One's the believer, one's the skeptic. They both are looking for the same thing: love. Both were looking for someone to cry on, and someone to laugh with, but mainly someone to trust. That's the way I feel when I am around fellow philes. You guys know what I'm going through. None of the real world understands. When I ask at the ice cream parlor if they have non-fat-tofuti-rice-dreamcicle they look at me funny. Or what about when the clocks turn 1121 and 1013 every night? My family looks at me strangely and rolls their eyes as if to say 'Here she goes again.' When it rains, I look up and hope for toads to rain from the sky. I check to make sure those mosquito bites are just mosquito bites. Somehow, now, Jeremiah was a bullfrog is the best song in the world even if you don't sing it on tune. When I'm looking for things to nosh, sunflower seeds and iced tea is ideal.   
The x files has taught me so much. Not only has it taught me what the acronyms of UST and NP are, it also brought me the best friend I could ever ask for." She said as she took a deep breath and sat down.   
  
Just then, Arteth stood up and started clapping. It was contagious. Soon the whole room burst with applauds, and everyone was cheering their newest X-Files anonymous member on. For the first time in a very long while, Doc smiled through her tears.   
  
  



End file.
